Metaller

Hide your kids! Hide your wife! The Metaller is here!!!

He wants you to know he’s actually not goth, he just wears guyliner & dresses in all black so he’s often mistaken for one. He’s got no time to slow dance to Bauhaus, he’s headbanging & moshing to Cradle of Filth!

Hell, don’t invite him to the goth club at all, they just aren’t hard enough for him & his brutal fellow metaller miscreants.

He’s so hardcore, he starts every day by sacrificing a goat in a satanistic ritual, but he wants you to know that he does in a totally metal way, NOT the namby-pamby, prissy way a goth would.

Raise your horns 🤘😈🤘 !!!

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